Desire beyond age 50

From all the ads and experts out there, one might think that sex is for the young. It’s true that it’s discovered when we’re young and it’s also true that it gets better as we get older when: -          We are more confident and comfortable with our bodies,

-          We have a deeper, darker sense of humour,

-          We feel no pressure about getting pregnant,

-          And a whole lot of other reasons I’ll bet.

When I say older, I am referring to people who are in their 70s, 80s and 90s+ and are either actively engaged or more physically & cognitively frail.

I wonder why is there such a difference in our attitudes about sex with older men versus older women.  When you think of sexuality in older men versus older women, what comes to your mind?  Media certainly does little to portray older women as sexual and sensual.

Our beliefs about our sexuality and our aging selves are in our head and they’re also influenced by what we see and hear, and the messages we receive from media, culture and those around us.

I visited a couple of local “sexuality stores” whose target audience is women – The Red Tent Sisters and Good For Her.  They’re amazing spaces, like boutiques, are female-friendly and offer excellent workshops for women.  Unfortunately there are no workshops specifically for women over 50. Any woman at any age can attend their workshops but there are none for women who are post-menopausal.  Would a 60 or 80-year old want to attend the same workshop as a woman who is 25?  Perhaps, and perhaps there’s an opportunity here to offer sexuality workshops for older bodies and mature minds.

Look out – there’s lots of sexuality and desire happening with octogenarians – check out this YouTube video Grandma’s Still Got It and get ready to blast your stereotypes away.

Isn’t sexuality about experiencing pleasure, sensuality and intimacy? Why do we accept that sex and sexuality is for those under fifty and wrinkle-free skin?  It seems to be as much about accepting and loving who we are and exploring our personal beliefs about our aging selves and our sexuality as it is about the general perception of sex and aging.