I've been asked, "So, how does it feel, to be published?" I’m pretty sure that anyone who publishes their first book feels similarly. This is what I’m experiencing at this moment.
Astonishment. I’m incredulous. I can’t friggin’ believe that it’s done!
Relief. I spent a lot of work, energy, time, and resources on this. No regrets, I know I’m changed by it. And I am happy to let it go. My shoulders and mind need freeing of everything required to complete this.
Vulnerability. After all I’m digging into taboo topics. Aging. Death. Dying. Seriously taboo, so what consequences will there be: Death threats? Bullying? Social media hijacks? And what have I done by revealing myself so openly and honestly? Yikes.
Anxiety. The silence freaks me out. The silence is what got me started on this project. It’s one of Gottman’s Four Horsemen and you know what he says about it, it’s not so good for healthy relationships. I want people to react - say anything! What you like about the book, what you don’t like so much, what freaks you out, what stops you from reading it to the end, what keeps you going? Just say something, anything!
Gratitude and Love. What everyone says is true: we need others to help us make dreams and goals come true. And I’m grateful for the many generous and kind people I know and the ones I met because of this project.